Call me when you're up
Great dream, you were in it
At what number of girls whose last names are stored in your phone book as drinking establishments does it become excessive?
Some fat girl belted her graduation gown. That is not a good look for anyone.
You suck. You're fired. I need to find a less reasonable voice-of-reason.
I didn't know there was such thing as a bad orgasm. Until him.
Just saw some guy puking out of the dorm window, its for sure monday
She bent the beer can with her tongue. I'm scared of what she'll do to me
You look cute and you are awesome. And that means something coming from a judgmental bitch
Yelling back at the people on Jerry springer through the TV, and eventually punching it. Failure of a night.
Really uncomfortable with the level of eskimo brotherhood at this family reunion
I had her buy me a cock ring, so we might test that out. We are presently playing yahtzee.
Cock rings and yahtzee. Like peanut butter and jelly.
Ur wingman ability is causing serious doubt
Ok first off its WAY easier if you are actually here
Would it be sad if I made a blanket fort to get drunk in till the power came back?
What do I do with all this pork broth? I can't waste it.
CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG
You got naked in his car? Or the koala suit was in his car? One of those sounds a lot less slutty than the other......
Randomize
