Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
i wish there were pregnant emoticons
My bracket is officially just a list of teams that lost.
he passed out on the stove with a cup in his hand. yes the pictures are hilarious
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
you force-fed me gummy vitamins while screaming "I JUST WANT YOU TO BE HEALTHY" i have never been so terrified in my life.
I wanna snuggle with you as we feed each other chipotle burrito bowls and that's just where I'm at right now
Pooping with Eye of the Tiger playing. Not a single fuck shall be given.
He stopped me mid blowjob and asked me to take off my hat. He said it made him feel like Neil Young was going down on him.
went out to hit golf balls, ended up doing splits at the bar. you're a bad influence.
He’s 48, has a Prince Albert piercing and a white Range Rover
Just had an emotional break through with the dog. That high.
I'd give my right arm to start my period. My right arm. Thats more significant then my left.
The gift for sixth anniversary is steel. He bought me handcuffs. Inee I married the right man!
I'll talk to you in a minute. Gotta put my peacocks away
Randomize
