Grilled cheese is the best thing. ever. better than boys, and alcohol, and sex, and chocolate, and money. But not really the last two.
The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
I woke up with a Nike swoosh shaved into my chest hair. my friend got 3 stitches. my phone had a text that simply read "fuck you". I say it was a good party.
It was like she tried to cover up all the weight she gained with a fake tan...
Received a verbal warning at work for "riding in a trash receptacle, violating professionalism & infection control."
Dear Beer Goggles, it's time to see the eye doctor. With love, your biggest fan.
I poured everyones drinks into the ice bucket and then stuck my face in it. Apparently I'm a greedy drunk.
I sat down next to him and my bra just unhooked itself
Rainbow fish was a wild success, got wasted at 6 gave away most my scales and made out with max from where the wild things are.You'd be so proud
I think girls have an advantage in chugging contests. We know how to just open our throats.
He tried to buy me a drink at dollar beer night. All 3 of his credit cards were declined, so he asked me if I could cover it. Needless to say, I'm not calling him back.
He's a real gentleman. At least he tried to flush my closet's handle after he pissed in it.
I am sitting in my lingerie, eating frozen cookie dough out of a bowl, and watching family. My hump day is going great
Correction: *I* watched JoJo's Bizarre adventure while he snored asleep on me cock still fully inside me.
Well he waved at me as he was leaving so he def noticed the staring, and by staring i mean blatant eye fucking from across the bar..
Randomize