ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
well,he told me "i bet you five bucks that i can right cum on the mirror with my cum" i said alright do it, lets just say he's five bucks richer...
You owe me 10 bucks. He wasnt in jail. Found him at 530 this morning when the smoke alarm went off. He passed out naked in the middle of cooking bacon. No idea where he was before that.
Stripper fight on main stage. It just happened. And it was glorious.
turkey basters and jungle juice, is that really the whole shopping list for new year's?
Ever since I told them the story of the sex in the canoe scandal its like I am in season
He was like a foghorn with a huge penis.
a guy just walked up to us....drank the rest of my beer....and said sorry for my loss before walking away.
And for those of you keeping score at home this is the 7th time I've found Casey passed out head first in a bowl of chips at a party I didn't even know she was at
I'm eating taquitos in the bathtub at 5:30 am. What a great end to the night
woke up and you werent here...its ok if we're never going to speak again but my furry hand cuffs are missing and i would like them back. thanks.
all i'm saying is don't blame me if your purses are filled with whoppers
are we talking malt balls or BK?
I brought coffee but not enough for the naked guy on your porch
It's less than a hour into 2020 and I already want to punch some people in the face
The sex would be better if it wasn’t interrupted because his home detention ankle monitor needed charging. At least I know he’s not cheating on me
Do you even hear yourself?
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