i just saw a midget buying condoms and graham crackers. i wonder which was the impluse buy.
my boobs just fell out on the dance floor. my wedding is totally beating your wedding
I only knew it was midnight because i got happy new years texts while i puked outside
Well then I realized I had a bigger problem when I woke up a long board.
Tuesday night just isn't my ideal coke binge night.
its not that he announces that he can deep throat a banana its the fact he knows he can and it makes me wonder how he found out
I cannot tell if the couch is cold or I spilled beer. THAT kind of night.
I even got my dealer to make gluten free special cookies ;-)
Guess I was throwing darts at a patrons head last night, lol! Black out
Sorry for all the texts. I got wasted and woke up at the foot of a staircase. From what I can gather, I fell down it.
I found all these half eaten mandarin orange on the ground and the bruises on my neck are definetely not hickies
I'll screw just about anything, but I draw the line there
It stopped being casual for me when I waxed my vagina for you
You seem like the type to go to a craft sale baked out of your mind. I like you.
did you know that sneaking into a golf course at midnight is a felony? the cop made sure to tell us after she peed on the course and hit on him
Randomize
