her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
I just saw two girls throwing up in the bathroom. they were high-fiving under the stall...
drunk tastebuds have low standards.
she looked at me completely serious and said "orgasms are 15% Stronger during a hurricane" and started to take all her clothes off
I like how he had to correct himself in stating that I was the fat one in the threesome.
she stopped traffic so I could crutch across the street. Clubbing while crippled and drunk is different.
My parents got me a bottle of vodka and a puke bucket for christmas. I've already used both.
SUNS OUT COOCHY OUT
my ass is still wet. this is highly unpleasant. give me 5 to get changed and I'm all yours. or you can yell things to me while I shower and burn clothes
In 18 months of being married we've had sex with 7 different couples. Who said you can't have your cake and eat it.
What's an appropriate engagement gift for the girl that's marrying your brother's Tuesday night hookup? Cause all I can think of is vodka and Kleenex.
When the dude you brought home from the bar on Thanksgiving leaves before you wake up ... #thankful
You know you hit Mardi Grad bottom when you come to in someone's kitchen on the floor and you are eating gumbo out of a Mixing bowl with a ladle......yeah rock fucking bottom
After everything I’ve done… had sex with people off tinder, gone to clubs and bars, gone to hockey games…. I get Covid at GRANDMAS HOUSE
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