Don't cheat on me with the blonde bimbo religi freak
I wouldn't touch her with a ten foot pole
She's blonde
Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
we were having sex and the sweat made her make up run... seriously laid there and watched her face just melt into ugly.
I action rolled over a firepit. Twice. I am the action roll king
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
Once he blows his load, he's more of an immediate flight risk than that jetBlue pilot. He's out the door before his cum is out of my vajayjay.
Boob shaped ice luge is ordered for my bday. Boom
I can't even drink.
The liquor comes out the nipples. Out. The. Nipples.
If by "Are you drunk?" you mean "Did you just faceplant in the checkout line at Target?" the answer is yes.
My brother walked up to us as we were making out and was like "hey man, go to town!" and winked
Sometimes you have a glimmer of a heart and then I immediately remember you are dead inside.
On the plus side, I know I'm allergic to latex now. Like really fucking allergic
Accidentally typed message to mom that included word "kink." FML. Played it off as autocorrect from "drink" which was somehow more acceptable
Please come over. It's a pajama and burn-2016-in-effigy party
Omg the sex was so good my ears popped. Thank god too. Cause then I didn't have to hear him going on and on about his dumbass feelings. It's called a booty call bitch.
Want to have dinner and we can talk about how my vagina can make you feel better?
Randomize
