question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
i think i have herpe
just one?
Ramen noodles and uncensored jerry springer episodes, what a nice life i have.
i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
best googles of the semester: toe fucking, purpose of two nostrils, human tail. with pictures
I just got off a plane from Mexico. At least 15 passengers dashed to the bathroom throughout the flight. Can you tell its spring break?
I cant help but love a girl who informs me of the pregnancy test results by emailing me a YouTube clip of Barney Stinsons not a fathers day speech.
disregard all texts ive sent you minus taco motherfucking bell
I need $500 dollars more than I need a night of dignity... I gonna do it.
I feel like my chances would have been better if I hadn't told her "I need to fuck you before you leave."
We tried lying really still and being really quiet so that he wouldn't notice us before he left the room. Forgot about the glow in the dark condom.
Apparently she almost had an affair at Outback Steakhouse, details to follow when I get home but the apple really doesn't fall far from the tree
I just ate your leftovers whilst watching Garfield and Friends. Thank you across the board.
If I could drink as much and have the amount of sex he has at his age, well I'd probably be dead
Literally I woke up the other day and the girl part of me was like “GET CUFFED MOTHERFUCKER” and I went ham on tinder.
Randomize
