i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
The child next door sounds like he's having vigorous sex in the backyard and it's making me very, very uncomfortable. I don't want to look.
I woke up at 4am on the couch with half my clothes on. And by half my clothes I mean my earrings.
Accidentally spilled a drink on her roommates skirt, offered to clean it, and got a blowjob out of the deal. Something went horribly right.
i dont feel like going...you don't know how much work goes into getting my whore on
Also, I'm sewing my entire Halloween costume by hand. I better get laid at every single party I go to.
Apparantly 7 1/2 Vicodin is a 1/2 too many.
I seriously just found a rose petal in my vagina.
Someday, but I will be heavily drugged and there will be no dolphins.
Dude, I brought the fucking tequila to that party and they cheered for the chick that seriously only brought limes.
I am a 5'4" ball of sexual frustration and vodka. It is that kind of night.
We can't do acid Disneyworld.
Don't worry, I'm not gonna try making you Eskimo sisters with your mom
You told everybody that you were a dragon and then projectile vomited all over the kitchen.
Is that your Nuva ring on the floor? Shit must have gotten crazy
Randomize