Leaving terminator. dude in front of us leaving was wearing a baggy micael vick jersey, cargo shorts and brown crocs. God I hate people.
I knocked on some strangers door, you didn't have to give me a fake hotel room number
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
Something smells like weed and I think it might be my mascara. Come sniff my eyes
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
The highlight of my night was definitely explaining the bandaid on my nipple.
You fucked everything up-can't pass a cleared kitchen table without getting hard
I'm just saying. If this how my magic vagina shows it's magic then I don't want any
Can you think of a sexual word rhyming with snorkel?
Today is a spill-drugs-all-over-myself kind of day.
Got hit on by the cable guy. Solid 9. Think Orlando Bloom with a glorious curly mullet.
Look, as flattering as it is, I'm getting a little tired of being everyone's go-to girl for a threesome.
Fyi - we're going to be eating those sandwiches in bed when you get home.
i feel as though me waking up and asking her if i went to the hospital was a sign that i was not okay
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
Randomize
