I asked her if she watches the office. She said no, but do you watch I'm a celebrity get me outa here? That's when i knew. Deal breaker
the women in the ladies room did not appreciate my innovation of turning a sink into a urinal
if you do not get any action from him tonight, I am personally walking my drunk ass over there grabbing his tongue and sticking it in your mouth. this is getting ridiculous
Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
all adderall does is make me the grand champion of using wikipedia.
Just remembered to take my BC at the liquor store. Just swallowed it with a free sample of Whiskey.
Gonna send a picture of my negative pregnancy test with the message "Merry Christmas" to the guys I've been sleeping with. That alone, will put a huge dent in my shopping list of gifts for people.
I don't care who it's from we're getting blown. It's a 3 day weekend anything can happen
He never broke character while fucking me on the neighbor's lawn. I give him a 10 for his dedication to the British accent.
I've come to the conclusion that Jesus and 2013 are haters.
Well he walked in last night, yelled at me for not playing any music and started dancing.
"my nose is broken but I'm beer pong champ so it evens out really"
This is bullshit, I shit my pants for the 1st time in 30 years, stuck on the 405, fuck this shit.
Depends
I’m honestly just flattered that you think I could make PornHub’s Top 10.
I don't wanna SLEEP with him, I want to start bar fights with him. There's a difference.
Randomize
