you guys were way drunker than both of me
He asked to "fluff my boner.."
Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
Saw some pubes in our toilet, hope the new look works out tonight.
he kept looking at my chin until i asked why, then he just said he was making sure his balls didnt leave a mark.
this kid down the hall keeps banging on his drums...i feel like i'm living in jumanji
having sex with him was like banging macgyver. he did the most amazing shit with the simplest things
i was way too optimistic last night... got back to my apartment and the porch light was still on, like i'd actually make it all the way home.
Already puke and ralleyd and dressed like a bear.
I will come over now to take full advantage of you in your vulnerable state.
Fine. I should warn you I just threw up in danas fish tank. Fish are dead. Livers dead. I smell and look like a dead animal. And not showering. So deal with it.
There's a bag in my room with garbage, a thong, fritos, and an electrical cord. I'm assuming it's yours
........yyyyyyeah that's me
My coworker's brand new computer showed up today. He's on vacation for the next week. Brian and I are installing Windows 98 on it.
I swear to God if you fuck my cousin I will fuck your dad.
I'm going to become fluent in fucking Belgian boys
Everyone else's "needs" are getting in the way of my alcoholism.
Randomize
