I went from sexy to sloppy in a matter of minutes
my drunken desire to be gossip girl continues to ruin friendships for me
I was wondering where I've seen this kid then I remembered I saw him doing lines of blow of his gf's leg while she was sleeping last week.
I went back up to the apartment to get her phone and when I came back she was peeing on the sidewalk
As i looked at his penis, it stared back into my soul. No more drinking games.
I say we go and bring jello shots with laxatives. 57% sure one of his toilets is broken
Its a little weird going to a wedding where I've screwed the bride and my wife has screwed the groom. Great wedding though.
Hooker in the library. I repeat, we have a hooker in the library. This is not a drill.
Just fucked a MILF from Alaska. I love traveling.
I could not handle jail. And my very angry parents.
It kind if looked like a strap-on dressed up for Halloween.
I'm too high and old for this...
While he was going down town Julie brown, I was eating French fries. True Love
I wanted to say, you're welcome for your orgasms, thanks for not returning the favor, Needledick
Car sex in a public place. Boo ya.
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