I would rather wake up to a truck driver than wake up to her
He ate me out and then left in a hurry and shouted "Sorry to dine and dash" as he left my house
we couldn't afford a big pool so we bought 2 kiddie pools and put the inflatable beer pong table inbetween. get over here. now.
But it's a terrible idea. One erection and it's gonna go wrong
There is nacho cheese and blood everywhere.
You looked like my 4th grade science fair volcano project when you burped. Told you chugging a 40 would be awesome.
Im going in through the window and borrowing her dog. Dont worry ive done this before. we have an agreement.
I've already made the "blackout on move in day" decision
Best part of Friday afternoon drinking? Having ping pong balls thrown into my cleavage.
My dad just bought me a 40. I consider this our peace treaty.
A little sexual choking never killed anyone. And if it did, they died happy.
just had to get on my knees to snort an addy off the little sink at the daycare. teacher of the year!
drinks after work?
that question mark offends me.
Also my roomate used some of my condoms so she gave me her hummus. Great trade
I feel kind of like we’re in a gang and tonight is one of those “people are gonna know not to fuck with us” type of nights. And then tomorrow I am going to learn to pole dance. I’m not really sure how I got to this point in my life… but I like it.
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