Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
i walked into his room and he was eskimo kissing his weed..
Do you think most people who work at an airport Chili's can pin point where their lives went wrong?
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
he said he has something really important to tell me but isn't ready yet. It's either that he loves me or has herpes
i got us a cheese tray and a bottle of whiskey
ugh yes i love our date nights
Nah the bridesmaids all had dates. I slept with the next best thing: girl who WANTED to be a bridesmaid but didnt make the cut.
You promised me a handle of vodka if I took home her ugly friend. Thanks to law class I took for the 2nd time I know that's a unilateral contract asshole
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
Me and Phil are just drawing pictures of thumbs in different costumes during lecture. I love being a senior.
He brought a TOOTHBRUSH and TOOTHPASTE with us on our date..... I want to go home and forget I ever decided to be nice and go on this date in the first place...... A TOOTHBRUSH!?!?!
I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her
I just found a reminder in my phone to ask you about your sex life in 7 years. So how is that going?
Sexting my TA in lecture = awesome
At 3:00am my whole house started smelling like cooking meat. I have no idea why she thought it was a good idea to crock-pot a WHOLE turkey that early in the morning.
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