and before you know it i was laying next to him at 2 in the morning with penis and sadness on my breath.
Found a left over fake Olympic medal from our party last weekend. Awarded it to a random girl in the bar last night. Its the only thing she was wearing this morning when she woke up at my place.
want to meet me after class and possibly get arrested for indecent exposure?
So then I proceeded to the kitchen to make my "specialty," which consisted of a frozen veggie burger topped with peanut butter. I guess he ate it too.
I am stoned and listening to the Olympics music I downloaded on Saturday. Best 6 dollars I have ever spent.
My roomate has me out looking for easter kegs hidden arround town
I don't know whether to laugh it off or be pissed at him..I got pulled over this morning leaving his place and the officer thought my hickeys were hand prints around my neck and asked if I needed to be escorted out of town.
22 is way too old to still be having "thank god I think I'm getting my period" days
you told the taxi driver your yeast infection was so bad you wanted to F a popsicle
My diet has been 80% Fun Dip this week, soooo, no. Not good.
Does being an adult mean drunkenly signing for your tax return from a foreign country? If so, I've reached adulthood.
Wait an hour then go and untie him. Bring toilet paper and some spare underwear. Want anything from Starbucks?
so the casino kicked my ass last night, i'm pretty sure i hit a new level of hungover....just showered with my sunglasses on because the bathroom light is too bright
If we hadn't just agreed to no commitment, i'd totally propose right now. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
I'm having to shit out rocks
Randomize
