Her vagina smelled like hockey gear.
She literally thanked me for asking before I put in her ass
dude, i think we just came across a situation where tits weren't worth it.
oh my god, there is an imprint from the nuva ring in the christmas card my mom sent me. merry christmas.
I'm calling into work with a wicked case of sledge hammer crotch. She has to understand
Taking back a box of condoms is possibly the most depressing thing i've ever done
I'm a little upset you wasted 3 beers on your wet tee shirt contest.
you invented a new sport called "bacon pulling" and you cried everytime a piece broke
Either she's trying to smother me and failing, or she just has a really bad sense of where her tits should go.
Reasons why I'm always right: I am older, I am wiser, I have a larger penis
No other awkward car ride can beat the one you give your drug dealer home.
Your brother's naked in the courtyard again. Just a head's up.
I went to watch porn and there's already 3 Santa videos. Happy November 1st.
He was so traumatized by the It's a small world ride but he immediately pulled out a flask from god-knows-where and got drunk before the ride was over. The ride operator didn't blame him.
QUICK FAX ME THE BALL
Not how faxing works at all btw
Randomize
