You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
Pappa wants mamma naked
he was wearing sponge bob boxers. Guess how long he lasted.
I'm basically sure i was the reason for glitter on his penis
New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
Sitting in the library lobby in the middle of exam week. Drunk. Dressed as santas slutty helper. Waiting for the student shuttle service. People are clapping for me as they walk by. Tell me how this isnt college
no. the fact that it's halloween completely overrides the fact that it's sunday. youre going out whether im dragging your boring ass or not.
Going home with an argentinian named sulvio. Ill let you know how it goes.
I paid some man $10 for his shirt last night cause I liked it. Explains that. Bought the jackolope head from a street vendor. Got invited to someone's hotel rooftop swimming pool which explains why I was in my bathing suit. My clothes from last night are MIA. Going over the border with no pants on is awkward. Origins of the car rim still mysterious.
The only good thing about this is that the pharmacy guy will stop trying to add me on Facebook.
She's trying to feed the TV fried rice and screaming "FRIED RICE AND TEARS". Please bring me more booze.
Ok, it's starting to sound like someone's out there trying to learn to play the trombone while breaking kitchenware.
THERE IS A VERY SMALL CHILD YELLING OUTSIDE OF MY DOOR. THE NEXT TIME YOU TELL ME YOUR TOO BIG FOR A CONDOM I'M GOING TO PUNCH YOU IN THE DICK.
sober me thinks like you do. drunk me needs sober me's advice. am i allowed to go to his house?
You're lucky I'm holding your vagina in my best interests
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