i just used google streetview to figure out where i spent the night last night
we took turns throwing up in the kitchen sink last night...no i am not doing the dishes
Last night you were talking while puking saying, "ahh the shoes and the purse, I'm gonna have to wash those"
its a nice change of pace not blacking out and actually remembering getting laid
Good call on the strip club last night. Everytime i smell some flowery candle or air freshener I get transported back to having my face firmly planted in Riah and Desire's tits.
You're welcome.
come parachute off the vicodin airplane with meee
I woke up in my living room, on the floor, wearing nothing but a fur coat?
Don't you judge us. Sockets make ideal bowls
I SHITYOUNOT DAN JUST PUNCHED A DEER IN THE FACE. MID LEAP.
Oh my god. That was the best half-hour of my life that didn't involve genitals.
Then I'll go home and you two can do whatever two same sex heterosexual soul mates do
He told me how it ended, then I blew him.
So he ruined the best cinematic experience of your life and you REWARDED him??
Throwing up while listening to NPR because I’m trying to adult through this hangover
My brother is coming home and he is bringing a whole bunch of friends with him. I am making him a cake. What should i put on it?
"Open for business" or "I have condoms" would probably work
I mean...if Marco gets pregnant, it is either the spawn of Satan or the second coming of Christ (neither of which I want in my life). So let's just hope that he doesn't grow a womb and that we don't have to consider either option.
Randomize
