she was mega hot - except for the poop under her fingernails
Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
i know they say sex burns calories but i think i actually gained weight from just lying there for the whole 2 minutes
I'm still drunk from last night...I walked out for a cigarette with one of the Janitors here and apparently someone took a shit on the stairs...Which makes me wonder...was that me?
Only my sister would update her facebook status while going into labor.
I was cleaning up my drunken mess and I found my ID in a cereal box
Well now I have my semen on her headphones
Bob the builder, bob the uilder bob the builder bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbjbbbbbiotch!pp!!!!
Like I couldn't describe it to you but if they did a lineup of penises i'd be able to pick it out.
You should offer shots at parent teacher conferences..I bet more ppl come
and you stopped teaching...why?
She said I told her "I'm to drunk to take your bra off." then she said I walked out completely naked to go watch tv.
You know you come from good stock when you can have a family discussion about excuses to scam pain pills from the doctors
I'm so high. Midnight pancake breakfast in bed
My one regret (beside the inevitable shit storm that followed) is that now I can't fuck his cute friend.
YOUR VAGINA IS SO CUTE IT'S LIKE A LITTLE MACAROON
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