my girlfriends now gay ex-boyfriend kissed me. tell maddie i can't hangout today
called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
you need to know that there is a kid here wearing an i mosh for Jesus shirt
Just found out that I was singing john legend songs as I threw up last night. Quality.
just friend requested my arresting officer from last night. too soon??
I'm so proud of us for fucking the same friend group before we met in a completely unrelated instance.
Needing to keep one leg on the floor during sex so you dont spin should qualify for some kind of drunk award.
If the boyfriend of the drunk girl you just met asks her if she made a "special friend" you're going to have a threesome. For future reference.
i cannot be the only guy who has bought the every day with rachael ray magazine for use as porn
If man night ends at some point, hit me up and let me prove my vagina still exists.
You know you're baked when you feel your throat closing up from an allergic reaction to the pecans in the cookie you're eating but you keep eating the damn cookie.
I came back to consciousness and found myself sitting in a beanbag chair petting a 2 month old husky with one hand and eating an oreo Klondike bar with the other. This almost makes me forgive blackout lisa for making out with that chubbs at the xmas party
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
Before making travel and hotel reservations to meet your "affair" for the first time, consult your menstrual calendar! $633 wasted!
Yep. Just fucked a 34 year old on the football field where we both went to high school. That's a story for the grandkids.
Randomize
