So is it bad that I'm using this 21 year old for his hot bod and utter naivety?
No its what 21 year olds are made for
This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
you know you've been in a long relationship when u start retiring sex toys
Dude, I just scraped frozen vomit from my rooftop
I really wish I could say this is a new low for you
You know, it's scary to think that someday I might buy a pregnancy test with pride, not at 2am...
I never thought I'd say this, but there is a life threatening amount of rumpleminz in our freezer
I wiped my mouth this morning with a pine tree branch after I threw up on the side of the road. Tis the season
when was she peeing in the stairwell? why dont i remember this?
....because generally we only remember 40% of the night each, and have to fill eachother in. And that still leaves 20% that we will never know and its probably for the best
you regret 100% of the tequila shots you do take. thats what gretzky meant to say
...and that is the first time I've ever wished fewer naked women on someone I like.
I'm terrified that I'm going to have a baby with a guy who posts snapchat stories while ignoring my texts
It's only just- an eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth, a nude for a nude
He broke both of his legs jumping out of a window to escape a coyote.
Dude, she stopped mid blow job to ask the cat's name. ADHD might be a deal breaker after all.
Let the record show that I hate your ass.
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