What do you call a girl with PMS and GPS?
A crazy bitch that WILL find your ass!
We'll probably be arrested for having a cheetah in our apartment anyway, so I say go for it.
He's eating a cream cheese sandwich. He's obviously distressed.
if theres anything i pride myself on, its my ability to look homeless.
Definitely just said "no homo" to our gay waiter at Cheesecake Factory...our service has steadily declined since.
I just had to tell her that no she really doesnt need to sneak pizza from mcmurrays out in a plastic bag for me later
this mall makes me feel like I just rolled a 9 in jumanji and got the stampede card
And my only real exposure to Russian culture is you and Internet porn.
My makeup looks extraordinary for nine tequila shots, running four blocks, falling asleep with my face in the toilet, and doing the walk of shame across campus in the rain. And to think I'm single.
Remember the couple Steve and I heard and rated their sex based on the bed squeaks cuz we couldn't sleep through the noise? We got them back. They turned up the radio to drown us out.
I'm super stoned watching the vatican smoke cam. Come over.
It was a fight. Me vs nature and drunkenness. And nature won. Big time.
Yeah. I'm so over work, that I'm not even satisfied pretending to work anymore. I just flat out want to go home. Fuck this job
He stopped me mid blowjob and asked me to take off my hat. He said it made him feel like Neil Young was going down on him.
U dont jog and buy condoms n bulk
Randomize
