I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
Nothing says Christmas like gin and tears.
Woke up and went out for a cigarette and it was dead quiet. It was like the world just knew how many mistakes were made last night.
when a girl feels in her heart, the way she feels in her vagina, anything is possible.
You unbuttoned your shirt and started walking down the center of the road screaming traffic stops for Enrique Iglesias.
You'll be happy to know that I did indeed fracture my rib in a sex related injury
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
oh and speaking of men I've slept with. Ryan lost 1/3 of a testicle zip lining
I should work for the FBI. Or planned parenthood.
That's quite a broad spectrum. What did you do?
THEY NOW HAVE MIXED DRINK EMOJIS! LIFE IS GOOD! PRINCESSES DON'T DRINK BEER
He ordered a meatball sub with a side of meatballs.
I just wanted to check in on you and you replied with a selfie with your Coney Island waiter and the caption "after his shift we're dropping acid together"
Your skill with memes is vaguely frightening
hey man , the girl you brought home last night is in the kitchen puking in the sink and asking if she can have more shots of Whiskey....think i should give her a shot glass or send her home....
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