were talking about masturbation in my pysc class. He says it's healthy. I'm gonna live forever
i just put a booger in my mom's hair and i just needed to tell someone.
we've started having sober sex
you really do like him
Now that Steinbrenner is in heaven he's going to make Jesus cut his hair
i'm pretty sure i'm on the same train we took last friday..
what?how do you know?
it appears they have not cleaned up your vomit yet.
well, i woke up this morning to a note i left myself my dry erase board, "dear you: i had sex with someone awful."
Attn: you have now used your free, one time admission to pleasure town. Thank you for visiting I hope you enjoyed your trip. All future trips to P.T. Will cost you full admission price. We have different pricing plans to accommodate different situations, and remember it is more of a bartering system than a set price. Your patronage is always welcomed and once again thank you for visiting and have a fantastic evening.
I feel like he's only with me because no one else would blow him.
Sitting in the library studying = googling how to get laid in the library.
My inner buddhist recalls, "You receive the d when you aren't looking for it, only when the d wants you." True story.
YO CONGRATULATIONS ON YOUR MÉNAGE À TROIS. YOU GO, GLENN COCO
Oh? I just remember dropping coins and trying to give the manager change to let me back into the bar.
Just escaped from the ER. Meet me at the bar in 20 minutes.
I'm gonna go take a shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
Am I the only person in the world that does not give a shit about the avengers?
Randomize
