If I was Danny Tanner and my wife died and left me with three kids I would hire a nanny rather than bringing in the sexually promiscuos uncle with a fetish for leather and rebellion and my obviously mentally ill (possibly gay) best friend Joey, who has never had a girlfriend and consistently talks in cartoon voices... a nanny is just a better choice
i am not allowed to pick the men i sleep with anymore
Just walk through the Honors dorm on a Saturday night. You'll feel better about yourself.
is it customary for a bride to wear white even if she's a whore? i feel tie-dye would have been more accurate
Well, let me tell you, it was the most vivid sex dream I've ever had. More so than the Paris Hilton one I had in 05. And about as weird.
Well... this vagina won't eat itself
I just puked in my non fat yogurt... But it's non fat in hopes that someone wants to eat my vagina
If you want to borrow my flask for all future interviews as a good luck charm because your last one went so well with it in your suit pocket, just let me know
Ya know, since we do have alot of sex with each other i figure i should wish you a happy valentines day
dreams really do come true on the roof and drinking again
He was the only guy who ever made me cry..
Who, the park ranger who made you dump out your beer on the beach?
MY MOM IS GOING TO SMOKE WITH ME.
SHE'S GOING TO SMOKE HIGH QUALITY MARIJUANA WITH ME.
I hate to stick you with the friend but I did all the work.
If only I could bank my drunk hookups for a sober IOU.
Hillary said in her victory speech "We're gonna come together". I've got a lib-boner.
It's probably not a good thing when it isn't even 6:30 and I've already drank an entire bottle of wine. By myself. I'm watching Spice World and I just bought 2 Spice Girls albums off itunes.
Make that 3 Spice Girls albums.
Randomize
