so explain again why im purple
no
I am watching Grease 2 and properly learning how to apply a condom to a banana. This is a sign from God that this is the closest I will ever get to having the need for one.
i wanna have a kid now so by the time he's 20 ill only be 42 and assuming im already divorced we can pick up girls together
On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
The future queen of Norway was pregnant with a druglord's baby when she met the prince. We still have hope.
Hi Jessica this is Jessica and I am texting you and were taking lime shots and it's fantastic and I broke your elbow and I love you xo
I'm studying for my midterm by watching porn with Spanish subtitles. Surprisingly the words are still really distracting..
Bloody Mary Monday just took a turn for the worst... Just had a heart to heart talk with the cat about it's obsession with chewing on cardboard.... Time for a nap.
Don't. You get on the 18 year old. I'll get on the 38 year old. Together we will bridge 2 decades of cock.
Romney sounds like a middle school girl and that creepy ass smile makes me want to close my blinds
My underwear are in the stairs so apparently I did take the dog out.
Today's psa: there are certain parts of your body you shouldn't scratch while wearing fake nails.
you just tore your cootch a new one, didn't you?
Why thank you for your unwanted opinion, person I've never met before.
We power houred with shots of red wine. Somehow we ended up with 7 bottles and lost Chris. Trying to find him this hungover is proving very unsuccessful.
My life. Always pantsless and occasionally topless.
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