I called Tyra Banks a whore to her face. A sure sign I should go home. Instead I went to the gay bar.
What's everyones problem with my costume?!
It looks like a unicorn came on your face.
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
I was passed out on the dog bed yelling "I UNDERSTAND"
So I peed on what I thought was a wall while in nashville come to find out while running from the cop it was just a dark tinted window and the while bar witnessed me peeing
work has become about six times more interesting since i started fucking my boss.
she's unstoppable after she starts doing shots and yelling NANNER
Well it's official... The first guy I ever gave head to now holds 2 world records. Should I text him asking if I can try and break my record?
I passed out in all my clothes. like my purse too..and with a cup of water next to me..and my last tweet last night was "Bye."
I think we did. All i know my pants smell like pong water due to the bathroom extravagansa. God I feel like a whore.
just ran into my drill sergeant from basic 4 years ago. gonna take him home and have him fuck me at the cadence of quick time.
But he's super into Jesus and I'm the devil. So we weren't meant to be
DUDE!!!!! THERE IS A MIDGET HANDING OUT RICE KRISPIE TREATS!!!!!! WHERE ARE YOU WHEN THE COOL SHIT GOES DOWN???????
If I knew the person sucking my dick didn't say thank you for their Christmas presents I wouldn't be able to cum.
I am the image of restraint, it's why im just hungover and not in the hospital
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