I found out 2day that my dad was a stripper in New Oleans.
The only way im leaving this casino is in a golden chariot or an ambulance
so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
She put her phone in her underwear and it somehow managed to work it's way into her vagina. she has a BLACKBERRY.
I can't wait to get all this Makers out of my shoe.
There was a canoe full of alcohol. It was literally a boat load of fun
Took an impromptu nap on the floor of a starbucks bathroom using my backpack as a pillow. Please tell me you have been this hungover
She peed in the limo. She stood up and pulled up her dress and peed on the floor of the limo.
Sorry I pissed in your dining room and kicked your best friend in the face while he was passed out.
My going away gift was all of them dancing around with solo cups on their dick and balls...these are my friends
If I drank a glass of water for every drink I had I'd die of water intoxication like some tweaked out looser at a rave
was I really that bad?
you army crawled across the kitchen floor, turned the cat into "super kitty" and crawled into the dog cage
I think the moment she woke up butt naked on a mattress with her phone still on her face was the point she knew last night was fucked up
He totally fucked me in his Chewbacca socks
You now have a new job. Call me around 1pm everyday and make sure I've eaten something. All I've had today is dick and cheesecake.
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