i hope your v-card owns a pair of floaties
just met our mailman at a party, he asked me out. i said yes, but only if he picks me up in the mail truck. how jealous are you
does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
I just bought a CD. I feel like a traitor to my generation.
She challenged me to a game of rock-paper-scissors for her virginity. I love this girl.
i woke up to him dangling his cock in front of my face
bars should really give you discounts for bringing your own shot glass
He kept spanking me and talking about biomedical science.
Aw, you fucked a pre-med? you're moving up in the world!
Were gonna hotbox in the trunk. I think there's room for another half of a person if you're interested
apparently we spent 30 minutes inside that big Nike store turning all of their Duke gear inside out. for some reason the employees didn't stop us.
I just accidentally hit share on pornhub... Probably the scariest moment of my life
I finally fell asleep and like an hour later he wakes me up and says "I've always to be woken up w a blowjob." Um, that's not how it works asshole.
You were convinced you would hurt my car if you opened the door. Then you barfed in the pretzle bucket Peter gave you
All I remember from the concert was leaving in an RV full of middle aged people playing circle of death
I'm really hot. went tanning and this cheeseburger shirt like isn't breathable
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