I woke up this morning in your mom's car... any ideas?
alone in the kitchen at 4 am eating a hotdog.
What drug did you take that made the cabinets scream at you?
The one from last night got me a whole floor of Eskimo Brothers. There was a celebration of high fiving as I left
dude you cant keep breaking into my house just to raid my fridge.. especially at 3AM.
Good idea. You gotta take care of your vagina. She takes care of you. Pay it forward.
Dude, this guy showed up with a 40 and stayed for two days. I want that lack of responsibility
Trying to find a reliable dealer on Rockfordmugshots.com. Guy arrested for 15 grams of coke could be him !
You realize those people have been ARRESTED recently. right.
I've justified worse with less. I had sex with your brother because he was wearing a nice sweater
I feel as bad as you right now. I'm about to use one girls car to go see another one
Fuck ya. But normally I drove one girls car picking up a different girl while texting another girl lol
I just remembered that i did pull ups in a bikini on the porch of Red Lobster last night. someone needs to stage an intervention
Tomorrow after you go to the library to look up gay porn, I'm going to come to your apartment to paint a nude portrait of you. Get pumped, plopernickle.
He was Jesus for Halloween and I definitely got on my knees and gave him praise.
There's a stripper getting there at 10 though so hopefully I'm out before the stripper gets there. I don't have time to deal with a stripper.
i'm eating chex mix in the shower while texting. i feel accomplished.
Randomize
