I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
I just woke up and found a naked man on my floor. Looks like Dad had a wild night of strip poker
Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
We were done making out and had been asleep for a hour. I felt him put his hand on my butt. Then I farted.
I never Thought the day id see a chick shove a 2liter up her vag. that happened last night
do you know how hard it is to sit through a 3 hour movie with someone and not fuck them?
Tequila is the liquid version of celery. I lose more calories during tequila drunk and the following sexual activities than I gain by drinking it...
I have no idea what's going on.... I just want to wear my horse sweatshirt and drink vodka.
he needs to stop knowing everyone on campus...it's making cheating on him really difficult.
She wasnt impressed wen i brought a guy for her back with me, a 3am impromptu sperm donor is not a gd birthday present. Im a bad gf.
What's life without a lamp shade you wore home?
i'm just sitting here watching hocus pocus, eating takeout, and taking self esteem quizzes online while everyone is out partying. you tell me how my night is.
The hot tub didn't work. But it's okay because we discovered just how many people you can fit in a bathtub.
I have someone saved in my phone as "This Hoe Ain'tit' Loyal" and I'm missing my superman boxers. Explain.
He walked in on me masturbating and on my phone but got mad because I wasn't watching porn just tweeting
Randomize
