You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
im sure we could have fun without alcohol but i just dont wanna chance it...
Seeing him suck some chick's face on VH1 wasn't exactly how I imagined the "we should see other people" conversation going.
I can't. He's too cute and my tongue is too long.
So basically i got outta bed and started peeing on the a/c unit..when my roommate tried to stop me i looked at him and said "i got this"
we just plugged the camera up to the big screen. would you like to come see what you did last night, in high definition?
The dry cleaners wouldn't even take our clothes. That's how bad of a night it was.
Staying in I think. Boyfriend has domesticated me. I'm making eggs naked right now. Also really high.
No, I left myself a half eaten cucumber and a beer next to my head, pointed at it and said 'you're breakfast' and then passed out.
Do not shit in our house. There is no TP. I am walking to get more, if I do not return, I have probably died of dysentery after my last wagon wheel got stuck in a gulch. Tell Martha and Lou Ann that I love them, and that I passed away doing the Lord's work.
You decided that walking wasn't in the cards for you anymore
You should come by for the fire station blow job tour
I just brought her a lipstick taser. So just remember that the next time you get smart with her
The prescription the hospital gave me for pain and nausea doubles for my hangovers... Maybe I'll hit up the ER more often
I think I was just motorboated by a 4-year old girl.
Randomize
