I think I'm maturing; i was gonna watch porn and then take a nap but i motivated myself to put my laundry in first.
Omg i either met the gayest dude ever or my next boyfriend
im contemplating emailing my dad and telling him how worthless i am and how sorry i am that he pays for my life...aka my bar tabs.
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
Next time you think about divorce, consider this: a hot guy just walked in and I tried to suck in my back fat.
He wouldn't let me leave his house until he made me orgasm once for every year I've been alive. The birthday sex song did not prepare me for this.
He is really real. Like I know where he works, have referenced him with mutual fb friends and I've seen his dick. He's real.
Things I have learnt this week: bubble mix is toxic. Extremely toxic.
I ran into cvs barefoot with my belt undone and shirt buttoned wrong and didn't even have to ask. The guy working pointed and said "they're back there."
That's how I look going for the pbr.
O was like, nah, fuck 50-50. My version of bi is that i'm 80% gay, 20% drug-addled decisions. Apparently he's straight on hallucinogens.
I am literally this close to screaming out my window if anyone nearby was down to fuck. I am too damn horny.
At the light, his mom pulled up next to us while I was giving him road head. He forgot to tell me she was meeting us at the movie. So long story short, I convinced her I drove myself, pick me up in 20.
We could probably bang our way to enlightenment. However acid helps.
If one more person says Merry Christmas to me I’m going to take a pen out of my pocketbook and stab them in the eye
my favorite part was when you kept waving @ that guy and insisiting it was your cousin..and it wasnt and wondering why he wasnt waving back lol you were legit PISSED
Randomize
