I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
... oops
Yeah. I woke up naked in his bed this morning and remember saying "Get a condom cuz I can't afford an abortion right now" last night. He didn't run. He's a keeper
it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
I was trying to be an adult about it and simply deal with the situation, but a bowl seemed much more comforting.
I've been laying here all day wondering why my back hurt so bad and then I remembered last night.... When you pushed me through that glass table.
Cooked breakfast with his mom this morning...I'm like the housewife of one night stands
Just watched my entire extended family eat salad out of the bowl i threw up in last night.
He ordered a meatball sub with a side of meatballs.
Well you were listening to music and having sex really loudly. How was I supposed to know you'd hear me making rocket sounds?
I'll just give him your contact info, and you'll somehow manage to get laid. Which will make me feel like your vagina's agent or something.
Donald Trump looks like someone photoshopped hair onto a dick pic.
We literally laid down in the back of my car and had sex in a parking lot and it was in the top 3 best moral-less decisions I've made.
But if you move out who will get drunk with me on the roof and yell at boys?!?
Beer Olympics must happen in honor of the legit Olympics.
I gave him one of my famous hand jobs.
Randomize
