Reach down the front of your pants and feel around for a while. When you find your balls, leave the library and meet me at the bar.
Just so you know, I have a bf.
I guess as long as you bring single girls over and cook cannolis you will still be useful.
Why do you have Season One of Reba in your underwear drawer?
Why are you in my underwear drawer?
Were not really friends so much as I suck his dick a lot
I am so hungover and cant move but craving a Wendys frosty so bad. I might have to watch 2 girls 1 cup just to settle the urge
She poured a bottle of rum in the champagne fountain, did like 5 jello shots at the same time, then lit herself on fire. Twice. This is how everyone should turn 21.
Wouldn't it be fantastic if the corporate world cared less about about our GPA and focused more on our mastery of social drunkenness?
You were force feeding yourself jello and you kept repeating, "I will not surrender"
Yes. We drank 3/4 of a handle of vodka, fried and ate a 3lb package of bacon, I tackled the neighbors snowman, made snow angels in our underwear, and then fucked all night. Christmas success.
Casually on the bus at 830 in the morning with a box of cheezits and a bottle of fireball sticking out of my purse....
Well once I told her I had a girlfriend she actually got more aggressive. Then Danielle called me and she saw the pic of the two of us on my phone and immediately said "can my caller I'd pic be me sitting on your face" wtf?
Being in the club with your moms drunk friends > having a healthy relationship with your mom
I mean. I just want to sit in my bed and eat bagels. What's wrong with that?
I am that special "drink water and be grateful I'm alive" kind of hungover
I think I achieved my goal of being high for 24 hours in the same week I promised myself I wouldn't smoke anymore
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