I'm being pulled over???
For what!?!?!
??? I'm in a cab!!!!!
I just needed to know whether or not to wear panties to work tomorrow.
look to my right... shes dancing like she's playing dance dance revolution and her character is a retarded, drunken moose
found an empty one..2nd door on the right...i'm already naked.
dude, I'm listening to "I believe I can fly", i'm high, and driving. this is so amazing.
I can't tell if your life is amazing or needs reevaluation when "did I get hit with a nightstick" is a legitimate question.
Besides the flaccid incident, it was decent. Average sized. So this is my life now. Loneliness and lackluster sex.
So his mom walked in the kitchen while I was sucking him off and just casually suggested that "I'd need a glass of water after that"
Because everyone is allowed one half drunken 7:30 am walk back to campus in a cowgirl costume, right?
In the mean time, I'll continue to kick ass at running and become a successful stripper while he might hook up with one average looking girl he met at a club. I so win.
I'm not sure why, but my salad smells like a Big Mac. Or maybe that's just the smell of yesterday's, seeping through my skin.
My room looks so cute. Who wouldn't want to hook up with me in here?
you were acting out moves from the wwe, in a dress. then you sceamed "you can't see me" and ran out of the apt.
I went up to u at the bar, you grabbed my face and said, "hey you're Juan right?"
Apparently I told the mayor I want to be a trophy wife
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