TBS has betrayed me by telling me tyler perry is funny
We always say that. And then its 4am and someone is screaming at strippers.
I searched the house and found a small bottle of sherry which is probably as old as I am, has prob gone off and tastes like shit. I don't care any more. It has come to this.
i feel like pizza bites are my only friend right now
Duuuude - Drag Queen Bingo wasn't supposed to end like thissss
I just remembered you had me meet your law professor while I was wasted...how'd that go?
$100 bras are my way of telling my boobs that I love and appreciate them, and all the metaphorical doors they have opened for me.
She's just done the monthly not prego dance around our kitchen
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
He literally cocked blocked all the dudes that tried to talk to the girls he was with, and they all loved him.
Same guy who tossed the brunet over his shoulder as they left screaming "Bring me my lucky shovel!"
So I'm texting her. How do I steer the conversation toward "I honestly would be fine never seeing you again"?
He did 5 five hand stand push ups and took off his shirt for a barbarian flex. Some girl took off her shirt and threw it at him
This love triangle bullshit is getting out of hand. It's now a love polygon and I want out
I asked for a cup of water. They gave me tequila. They WANT ME TO DIE
well my apartment and my life are still a disaster but I did clean off my desk so that's gotta count for something...
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