i effin hate jeff goldbloom.
but i totally would still bang him
Dude my date hates me, Im on a rooftop full of Turkish people, and Ricky Martin is blasting on the radio. I was wrong earlier when I said I have my shit together
walkin around the woods blazed, drawing pictures of trees and plants, i get a grade for this
Guy passed out in the lobby with a keychain sharpie hanging from his belt loop. 1 guest came in and wrote on him, then others saw and got in line. I'm not waking him up.
I'm sorry but when I'm riding in the trunk on the way to mcdonalds at 6 am I just don't want to listen to reba macintire
She was stumbling around looking for her cat. She said i could help, but i had to call him by his jungle name
I just took my birth control with a water bottle I found in my purse with vodka in it in Spanish class. 10am is still too early for me.
I went to the bathroom, came back, and my friend was sleeping leaning up against the stripper pole.
Learn from me. Do not smoke cigs and fold laundry in your room. The cigarette will fall into the dresser without you noticing and your shirts will be on fire. Wanna go shopping tomorrow? I need some new shirts.
I once took a shot of lighter fluid.. That's not a secret just a fucked up story
I like to send nudes ok? If that's my biggest flaw I think I'm ok
Man the amount of drugs being done at a wedding with a bunch of surgeons was disturbing
hey. this is your former cousin. you boned my best friend last night.
Side piece definitely knows about my GF. Said it was sexy when I go commando, then left me pantsless in the club bathroom
The thing about online classes is the prof can't tell this mug is full of beer.
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