WAKE UP. GET ME THE PILL. AND SAVE MY LIFE
my bed looks and feels like i need to buy plan b.
why do all the strippers look like they came from fraggle rock
it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
So my niece decided to play "lets make shapes out of your bruises" with me and told me that one of them looks like a shark bite. Bravo, sir. Bravo.
I built a fence. For the bunnies we're going to adopt. I'll fill you in when you get home.
It will be like a scavenger hunt.. only we're looking for places to have sex.
he came during what was supposed to be the foreplay blowjob. there goes my evening.
You know i love you, but i just cannot fuck you until your eyebrow grows back. It's too hard not to laugh.
I have an interview tomorrow! The couple we regularly swing with said I could use them as references. Winning
Shooting a bottle rocket from my penis was entirely justified. Twenty bucks is twenty buck no matter how you look at it
Let go out that Thursday night!
Yess sounds good, I have to go turn myself in the next day because what happened last Friday.
You just kept mumbling about the carpet being covered in stains that looked like the face of God. Until you decided that they were closer in relation to Dumbledore.
4 of us. Guys and girls. Were sitting there discussing the passed out half naked Brit girl on the floor. She is no longer the international woman of mystery.
Randomize
