So you coming over for some grilled cheese and head?
My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
is there anything more depressing than unpacking condoms from your suitcase that you thought you were going to use on vacation?
I could hear his roommate in the background imitating my sex sounds...
Look at the bright side...I have an 11 inch penis
Every man needs a table where they can sit and reflect on the successful penile conquests of the day.
He's both a cowboy and a firefighter. Saying "no" was not an option.
People will call it the Wrath of the Froyo. We'll be immortalized.
In my next life I better get to be a bird. Fuck flying. I'm gonna shit on your car. Every. Day.
All's fair in love and war. and tinder.
Hahahaha don't tempt me. Remember we're trying to avoid airport jail if possible
He said I took his samurai sword off his wall and proceeded to jump off his porch at people coming home from the bar.
Anddon't worry about me I have my Darth Vader flashlight
Like woke up with a dick piercing kind of drunk.
I'm so excited you texted me but I'm way to high to process it
Randomize
