God help me. Come pick me up. The guy told me this is not a hotel and i had to leave.
so Mike and I made a deal. we'd do anal if he would help me pick out carpet tomorrow.
What...you let him do that?
It wasnt that bad. the two minutes it took is nothing compared to the 10 hr day I have planned for him tomorrow
Shiiiit I think I'm getting sick. probably had something to do with the fact that i shared my mouth with everyone last night.
Wait. That came out far sluttier than I intended.
I thought about puking over the balcony or the bathroom and figured the balcony seemed much funner.
I tried to interpretive dance to Candy Shop to stop the awkwardness.
Watching frozen planet. There's a beach master sea lion with about 50 sea lion bitches fighting another sea lion for said bitches. It's a bloody battle. Dude. You have over 50. Share.
He just tried to eat my hair and he keeps talking about pissing on everything, come home soon I beg of you
Remember, ur body isn't a visitors center
i swear to god if you did anything to my honey bunches ill remove all the oats and shove them up your dickhole then play pinata with my foot to knock them all back out
You slid down a wall, tried to pull your cast off and yelled that casts were too conformist.
I'm questioning my decision to swallow this morning while my stomach was in hangover mode
I need dunkaroos back in my life.
I will take a ruler to your dick so help me god
Let the clothes fall where they may.
I need you to get the emergency bail money out if the stuffed panda and go to the police station tot bail me out. I should be there in 20 minutes.
Randomize
