I think I just saw the silver monkey from legends of the hidden temple sitting out in someone's trash
GO. BACK. NOW.
3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
At least you didnt end up topless in a Tina Turner wig singing cabaret tunes
I chased a girl up a staircase screaming because she had a cardboard cut out of James Dean which, at the time, I believed to my friend being held against his will
wow, you never really realize how many muscles you have in your crotch until you pull them all.
How do you feel? I threw up in a towel. Also, a lot of other things.
What if there is no right person? Maybe it's just the right cat. Or the right 12 cats.
I come from a long history of big boobed German, Swedish, and Irish women. And then there's me. Mother nature was like "Naaaaaaah."
So the revenge porn my ex posted just resulted in a contract with a gay porn company. I'm going to make $8,000 this weekend. That would a breakup checkmate. Are you joining me in the legislative committee hearing tomorrow?
The only thing about him that I appreciated was that he destroyed the bathroom at your birthday and missed singing to you. And we all knew.
There is a video of you making out with him, flipping off the camera, and holding the plastic flamigo that you had just stolen out of a yard
Update: they told me I was twerking to twenty one pilots
No way hahaha I have zero intention of adding him I wanna just join in on a three some but mostly just be there for moral support and snacks
We had sex to Hey Arnold, Rugrats, and All That. I feel like my life has come full circle.
not even sure this counts as hungover but like my body can't exist in reality today
Randomize
