she called my cock the "semen sword" and then we invented a position called excalibur
I dont want to tell you. Lets just say that a lot of things are reminding me of your dick right now
my mom sold the house because of the grow room the couple saw i had in the basement.
Just because im a good person doesn't mean that I don't reserve the right to be a complete dick about it.
I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL?
Really? I thought your parents stopped loving you when you drunkenly fell through the ceiling...
I smell like hot dogs and captain morgan it's 11:20 am what is my life
No sorry. I may be a happy drunk but my gag reflux is an angry drunk.
There's a girl in class eating a pumpkin pie. Like a whole pie straight from the pan with a fork.
It happened to me once. But i washed off in a duck pond and walked home naked.
It's like sexual waterboarding. You gave me sex so good I'm comparing it to torture. Jesus.
Remember when I made fun of you when you ran out of toilet paper on your brother's birthday and had to use coffee filters? Guess what happened today
He dared you to draw a map of the USA on your wall in mustard. You drew something that vaguely resembled a velociraptor eating Oklahoma, got embarrassed because you forgot how to spell America, then hid out in the coat closet until everybody left.
Happy Father's Day to the first man I called Daddy while cumming.
So, do I need to remind you to keep it classy tonight?
No, because if you have to be reminded it isn't classy.
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