when your english prof writes "this was a real good paper" on your essay, you know you're at the wrong college
he's been in the country 4 hours and we just did it in the closet. he called me "miss flirtatious in the cupboard." i'm in love.
Mega depressed bro. Had the greatest sex with the hottest girl I've ever seen and in the AM she gave me that look I've given dozens of times. I'm her drunken fat chick fuck
There's not an emojicons for I think I ripped my asshole and want to die.
I'm pretty sure when you walk down Broadway and can pick out people you've slept with.. It might be a problem. I'm leaving for rehab tomorrow.
there's a strong possibility i came on your eyeliner last night bathroom sex was unplanned and rather messy sorry
He ripped off my pantyhose and all I could think was, "oh no those were clinic-appropriate!" That's what I get for ditching a continuing education meeting to go hook up with my scuba instructor.
It wasn't so much a one night stand as much as one night she puked on my nightstand.
Handcuffs are allowed in carry on luggage :) just checked
My goal is to not catch on fire... But if i have to dance im going to dance regardless of the danger
Last night I was just holding this kitten up to my face for like ten minutes telling it that it couldn't be real
So he came on my stomach this morning and I totally forgot about it until after you poured that body shot.
I just watched a squirrel take down a snake,life isn't so bad after all.
His PENIS is so fucking big that I always use caps, out of respect.
If it makes you feel any better, I can't find the goldfish I dropped like five minutes ago.
Randomize