there are 2 things i love giving: blowjobs & backrubs. how can i tell them that without sounding like a slut
I just used my thong as a hair tie. I think I reached my limit.
I know its hard to believe that I'm already drunk at 12 p.m. but I am, so dont call me asking to go to the gym.
so, what part of "he's slept with a guy" do you not understand?
Woke up under the lifeguard stand sleeping next to mitch our homeless friend. I bartered a summer wardrobe for his last 5 dollar to buy a bfast sandwich. Bring clothes
I'm basically just sitting in the porta poTty finishing my bottle of champagne bc I am too lazy to carry it back to the tailgate
I woke up this morning covered in blood and peanut butter. I am now safe from vampires with nut allergies.
1. Are there men involved 2. Is there food involved 3. Do I have to put pants on 4. Do I have to leave this bed
How bad is it if you swallow a really small piece of glass? Be optimistic if possible I'm anxious about it.
As long as you keep bringing fries home, i'll keep being naked when you get home
It was a frighteningly large penis to say the least
He's eating a sriracha ravioli sandwich. How do you think the night is going?
they gave me money. the money smells like weed. also they gave me weed
Dick pics just aren’t doing it for me, this bowl of Mac n cheese and Game of Thrones trump you tenfold
I just woke up naked in a bed with your brother. WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED TO NOT LETTING EACH OTHER DO STUPID THINGS?
You fucked my brother?!
Randomize
