yo dude i was totally schwabbin last night.
what does that even mean?
you ever see those charles schwabb commercials, where the people are like half cartoon half real.... well yeah i saw that in real life.
i'm so desperate for a drink right now i looked up the recipe to make pruno
ugh.. my birth control just came out of my nose. wtf?
thats the last time I fuck a piece of fruit on camera for him.
She's like the little sister I never had ... except for the fact we're having sex.
Lesbian sex in an alleyway drunk.
How was me telling you it's my mom's birthday a go-ahead to bang my sister???
NOT EVEN KIDDING RIGHT NOW. THE GUY IN THE SPIDERMAN COSTUME JUST FELL OFF THE ROOF INTO A BABY POOL. GET HERE NOW!!
she put on her moms wedding dress and is chugging purple jolly rancher vodka, happy cyber monday
Pretty sure that molly fried my sinus infection away; i regret nothing
you know that moment when all the alcohol kicks in and suddenly you realize the bar is very loud and you just want to bite someone sexy and ride their face i am kinda at that moment
This morning he fucked me while I was brushing my teeth. So I kept brushing as he thrusted. Then I brushed his teeth with my toothbrush while he was still in me. So hygienic.
You give an incredible blow job. I wanted to make sure you know it was appreciated
How hot? Like... how many hemsworths?
It’s 830 am and the amount of Valentine’s Day snaps I’ve already seen makes me either want to vom, drink a bottle of wine, or buy chocolate
1000% No lie I was just looking on insta and was thinking about taking a bottle of wine to the face..
Randomize
