i permit you to call me
i just used the Cadillac of toilet papers. For a minute i actually forgot i was even wiping my ass....i thought i was floating butt first into heaven
not only did i manage to get kicked out of the bar, i also got kicked out of denny's. i didnt even know that was possible.
He came up to me muttering about the pills on the bathroom floor... I found him an hour and a half later trying to take naked photos of himself with an alarm clock...
She had one unshaved part on her vagina that she called "the soul patch" I just didn't know what to think
The party got hot, we all started raging, took off some clothes, someone threw me in the shower and we all kept raging. Nude Rager, I was there at the point of conception.
I have major gossip for you.
Oh no, did you have sex last night?
If I had sex last night I'd probably post it on facebook. It's been that long and I'd be that excited.
I was just doing the math on how much beer we need for the houseboat. in doing so, I came to the conclusion that we need to open a beer distributor business.
Since Josh is going to be Carl Sagan for Halloween, he bought a turtleneck and sportsman jacket. It's all my nerd fantasies come true.
I can already tell, the amount of fun I'm having right now is not nearly going to compensate for the amount of "let us never speak of this again" I'm gonna have tomorrow
I woke up and there was a mans ass as my screensaver...
I could tell you were slightly drunk by the time you started having a conversation with my tiki torch
Fuck baseball, getting drunk and playing with kittens is the REAL national pasttime
Uh I almost got the bride to go down on me. I'm the smoothest maid of honor ever.
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
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