This kristen chick is fuckin nuts. She's pyscho. She's a trainwreck. She carries baggage. She's... Perfect.
He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
she says it's "been amazing lately"
i think basically because i hate her so much i'm trying to break her in half
I need you to promise me that the first one to find out our kids smoke weed, takes the weed so we can smoke it ourselves
If I had a clone, I'd fuck it with a condom
I just walked by a party bus on my way to study. God hates me.
Doors open. I'm laying in bed watching caddy shack and drinking a vodka tonic.
And I'm out of vodka so bring vodka or 2013 will blow ass
Your text makes more sense read in reverse.
Last night I dressed up as a cowgirl and walked into McDonald's. I bought 20 mcribs. There's pictures
The only difference between us and a pack of 14 year old girls is substance abuse
My sheer presence has sent the hipsters running in terror. I expect no problems.
Stupid adulating
Yeah it sucks, but at least I can buy wine so it all comes out in the wash
We are back but we are listening to stairway to heaven in my car. Amy is air drums. Be back when it's over.
Bro, that'd be the third dick I've taken down in the office.
Seriously though, I walked in and he was holding my cat in the air singing "the circle of life"...
Randomize
