I found a pair of size 15 female undies on my floor?? is that big?
Apparently I farted on her in my sleep. Then, just to be sure she was cool, I did it again on purpose and she didnt say anything. So, WIN?
he poured tabasco sauce in my vag.. I'm still having a hard time going to the bathroom.
We've finally come to the understanding that as long as our conversation stays stricaly sexual, we get along.
and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"
She gave him HEAD floating down the river in a tube as big a a tire. I just don't know how to compete with that sort of level of slut.
I made an oral joke and he laughed... That's when I realized I wasn't Daddy's Little Girl anymore.
I don't even see the point of going over to his place dressed anymore.
I hope you fall on your chin.
Jealousy makes you ugly.
My neighbor Chris is here. I am warning you, he is wearing a kilt I just saw his balls. Be incredibly careful that you don't see what I did.
Please write a memoir and name it "Game Boy and Dick Stuff"
Hooray! My email address wasn't leaked by Ashley Madison!
I will chop off your penis
You told everybody that you were a dragon and then projectile vomited all over the kitchen.
I purposely left my thong and accidentally left my ethics book, hairspray and most of my dignity.
If everyone felt the happiness from apple crown royal we would be in a better place
Me and my boss just exchanged pictures of our bongs and such...I don't know I feel about this
Randomize
