I know, he also has a fancy car to make up for his tiny penis
we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
i signed up to donate 10 dollars a month to help the children that are being displaced in columbia because of the drug wars.. i felt obligated
I can't believe we just used the phrase "jizz to juice ratio" in casual conversation.
we did rock-paper-scissors to see who would find out if you had alcohol poisoning
my boss made my mugshot into an 'employee of the month' poster.
Do you think she's aware of my deep hatred or should I set her hair on fire in her sleep?
This girl would not stay down. It was like night of the living dead. She kept on rising up to haunt anything with a penis
I will fuck him senseless, no need for a priest.
I only have one eye to read your texts because I just stabbed one out after reading that last text.
A talk about Arizona woman's rights politics has never turned to sex so quickly before.
The ecstacy made me so dehydrated I started licking condensation off car windows
Let it be known that on this day, the 26th of October, in the year 2016, I successfully put both of his balls in my mouth at once.
I'm currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
just to let you know, that was probably the funniest text i've ever received.
I suppose that kind of helps fill the void where my self respect used to be.
I have to touch the horse lube. :-(
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