After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
the couple across the street's about to bang. go get the popcorn and come join us.
god damn woman. you are like the herpes of drunk texting. you never go away.
Hey remember that time you called a woman a "man in a dress" and then threw up in a drinking fountain?
Just burnt my nuts with a cigarette. Don't ask. I hate life.
If you find my purse on your yacht please call me - girl you slept with after yacht party
She went to her drug test stoned.
And strangely enough, we all know she'll pass it.
you gave a quesadilla a blow job with sour cream at Denny's.
My plan for the weekend: 1) Get shit faced in Vegas. 2) Not die
You came in last night, ate an entire avocado in silence, and then told me I should never accept rides from strangers. Not sure I even want to know what happened to you last night!
I have a hook up buddy in Abiquiu. He lives next to a Chipotle; that's the only reason I see him.
Why can't he just dump me? This is like a baby seal clubbing the hunter
He was referring to me as "Teenage Dream" the whole night
I just got baptized.
Drunkenly skinny dipping in a indoor hotel pool is not okay and does not count as a baptism.
It's done, I'm done, goodbye veneer of class and dignity it was nice knowing you
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