just got my girl scout cookies. wanna get high?
Turning 21 on Saint Patty's day. I like to think this is what my alcoholic ancestors have prepared me for
...that's why he's not doing anything with his life except breeding geckos
Just abandoned him for a bowl of soup and the living room floor...hope the window replacement guys don't get a show..I miss you!
Also I think he would slowly, painfully, die. You really can't live without a penis. You'd explode.
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
Well call me tomorrow, it's a great story that may lead to me being fired and/or possibly being buried in a shallow grave somewhere out in wine country.
I took 20 bucks from you because when I woke up I saw more of you than I ever wanted to see bro.
Totally acceptable.
I miss yesterday.Today's hangover makes yesterday's look like a little girl with blonde ringlets playing hopscotch in the street with a ginger kitten.
I just had sex with the megalodon show on in the background and it was just as magical as it sounds
she keeps dunkaroos and gatorade in her bed. yep pretty sure im in love.
Ick. That's not even the fun kind of punishment.
I have hobbies that aren't destroying myself and others...i can make hats.....
My trash can is full of used condoms and girl scout cookie boxes.
he's spending the night tonight. if i can walk straight tomorrow i'll be pissed.
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