I have a hot bod, but my face sucks, what can i do?
theres a middle aged lesbian couple holding hands on the bus and a 17 or 18 year old christian girl visibly staring freaked out and audibly praying about it
it's sunday funday. and also, who can outslut the other day.
Do you know how hard it is to get cum out of a straw hat!?
can you please explain how one drink turns into 5 street signs with their poles lying around my room
On an unrelated note, i found out who duct taped shoelaces to my face
You kept running up to random groups of people and saying "I'm a Dallas Cowboy Cheerleader so we all have to chug our drinks!" and they all listened to you.
Just described your amazing cock to a complete stranger. I am officially the worst wingman (chick) ever.
Getting "I couldn't find the front door so I climbed in through window" drunk seems to be a habit of yours
Tolerating him while I'm not drunk is like trying to find a word that rhymes with orange
I have a sixth sense for large penises and lack of morals
So is it your turn now to pretend like dating someone else would stop us from fucking?
Somehow, you looked so classy chugging that bottle of wine last night.
You need to stop leading guys on at bars - you're a lesbian.
And now I'm a lesbian with better self-esteem.
Do NOT. I repeat. DO NOT call me little one after we have fucked. In no world is that ok. Even jesus agrees.
Randomize
