Just gave advice in krystal burger while holding and pointing with a corona to a 3 year old, told her to enjoy her stroller time while it lasts. The mom pushed her away fast.
I am the poster child for what not to do during sex. Soon they will be calling an undesired position after me
We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
Dude she looks like a female richard gere plus 400 pounds.
I like to think I'd be good at dodging genitalia.
Im drinking ciroc out of an ice cream cone... my night is going fantastic
I know it basically makes me the worst feminist ever, but I don't want to kill my own spiders. And I will pay my personal spider hit man with sammiches and unlimited , uninhibited access to my vagina.
my head feels like a yellow yolk spinning in a circle at the bottom of the bowl.. i may have a concussion, love auto correct
Would it be weird to jack off in the hospital?
Pretty sure my idea of standards went out the window when I hooked up with a guy who had a rooster tattoo with an arrow pointing down to his no no bits. Think about it.
When you licked the fourth stranger's cheek the bar tender pretty much ordered us to get you out.
I JUST HAD TO SNORT THE REST OF MY BAG OF COKE BECAUSE THE BAG RIPPED IN THE WORK BATHROOM.
I'm guessing you feel amazing due to all the caps?
LETS GET THIS SHIT DONE. IM GONNA GET THIS SHIT DONE, FOREVER.
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
How was your day?
Peaceful. I left the house to get paid and get fried chicken.
I got a pots and pans set and a vibrator. Merry Crisis.
Randomize
