Went to gas station for smokes. three cops pulled in. got gas i didn't need. found diff gas station.
good choice.
there's just something about her that screams "i'm into chicks who wear flannel"
after drinking 6 jumbo margaritas he then proceeded to tell the entire restaurant that he was going to "bust a load in me" when we got home....how do you think the rest of my night went?
Could you please tell them to stop whispering "thundercunt" every time I walk in the room?
I bought a 9 dollar purse from payless so if I throw up in it tomorrow, no biggie.
We broke the shower door. Completely off. His roommates were not happy but I sure was
I just did a sobriety test in a tutu.
Remember when you picked me up from my walk of shame with a bike, I came out wearing a Ninja Turtle costume and you let me ride the pegs to thoroughly display the embarassment
I never knew so many sexual things could be done while wearing footie pajamas
In a strange taxi 3059. Battery dying I'm dying. Bye.
she asked me where ive been her entire life and the guy in the room next to us yelled "with other women bitch!"
Did I mention I hooked up with another country star? I think I need some sort of trophy for each time, yah know? Or like a sash and I win a badge or patch for each person. Like a slutty Girl Scout.
I've had to take two showers today and it's not even 1 o'clock. Why won't this weekend wash off?
She has a bong hits for Jesus shirt. Of course I'm going to like her.
My sex life is driven by spite and alcohol
Randomize
