I just peed or puked all or around my parjibgb lot.
parking. I am not drunk
is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
During the middle of giving him head, he flashes his phone and says "I like to watch."
I started dry heaving in the middle of sex and she says "You moan funny."
an off duty cop drove behind me last night to make sure i didnt get a dui. i was blacked out drunk and on a pill of ecstacy. he knew this. i must be really pretty.
So apparently the christmas orgy was a complete disaster
See this is what happens when we don't have sex everyday
I received a letter in the mail from my ex equipped with a used condom,dirt, some hair, and a nude portrait of myself.
I wonder if the fact that I'm listening to the theme from lion king gives my neighbors the impression that im tripping faceeeee
The 4th is next week. If we don't get to a new level of high, we will be letting down George Washington.
Only my second night back in town and I already have drunk middle aged women doing the robot around me in a circle.
Not only did she fulfill a life long dream of mine of banging in a library, she bought me subway for lunch. I feel like I got the best gold star ever today.
YOU LICKED MY MAKEUP OFF.
Omg I just looked in my purse from last night.. 10 bags of gummy bears.
Randomize
