Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
I feel dirty and I went home alone. Bars should be like airlines and make fat girls pay double for everything.
She described it as "a squirrel being hit by a hurricane"
This house was built for laser tag.
I don't know what you're doing, but there's a dragon on my street.
I hate the hobo that sits outside our building
Joe or Chris?
do i even wanna kno y u kno their names?
well i came home drunk one night and Chris offered me a beer as i was coming in, it was kinda weird but i wasn't goin to deny a free beer. you're proolly talkin about Joe though, he's the one with the fucked up eye.
It's safe to say that our attempt at trying to fuck in the grand Sierra elevator was a bad idea.
I was just about to send a concerned text until I opened my door and saw a shopping cart. I'm glad you made it home in one piece and with toys.
Important info for allergy season. An orgasm will unblock stuffy sinuses.
I standby a snuggie being perfectly acceptable attire for drunkenly walking your dog at 5am. Our new neighbors did not seem to agree.
I feel like telling him your vigina was older than him was not a good pick up line.
His lack of social graces and moral fiber complements mine nicely.
At one point my little brother was Rocky Balboa'd by a stripper's tit
The coast is clear - also, would it bother you if I chose not to wear pants?
He brought me a bottle of Jack, got me off 3 times, & then left. This is the best fakelationship ever!
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